I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
