i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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