i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
