well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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