you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
