i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
