i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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