Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
