Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
And then he peed in my hair
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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