we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
