Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
