i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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