Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
