i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
