I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
