But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
