Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I smell stomach acid.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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