i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
