im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
