Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
