Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
