Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
