How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
