im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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