I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
