But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
