They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
