I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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