I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
