white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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