Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
