no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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