You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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