I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
