And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
