I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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