Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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