Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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