Im at strip club and am horny
I love black thongs
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
