Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
