Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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