I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The Olympian is in my bed
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
