I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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