I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
