Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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