even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
