it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
