he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
