That's when you crack a 10am beer
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
