who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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